Dealing With Negative People Made Easy
December 4th, 2005 by Xavier MediaI was playing tennis today with one of my tennis buddies. We
play once a week and we usually chat about work, professional
tennis players and local news.
Today he was very negative about the people of the area we live
in. According to him they are all thieves and crooks.
Now this makes me really angry when I hear him talking like this
since I have had very positive experiences with the people I have
dealt with locally. I find the locals to be very friendly,
helpful and considerate.
So we disagree on the facts. What can I do about his negative
thinking? What can you do when dealing with negative people?
Three Ways To Deal With Negative People
1 Get specific
When someone is caught up in negative thinking they will often
generalize their statements. It is a good idea to ask them
questions to clarify what they mean.
For example if my friend says all dogs are aggressive I will ask
him:
Small dogs or big dogs?
All dogs or certain breeds?
According to who?
In what kind of situations?
By doing this you can shift the perspective of the negative
person from a generalized over reaction to a highly specific
opinion. This will ease some of the negativity and the intensity
of their outburst.
2 Let Go
Let go of wanting to control the opinions of the people you deal
with no matter how negative they are. By all means talk to the
negative person and use your persuasion skills to help give them
a more positive outlook.
However remember that each of us is entitled to be negative,
wrong and inaccurate! Once you accept this you will not get so
stressed about wanting to change people who are negative.
And ironically when you stop trying to change people they can
almost sense that you accept them and so your words have more
impact.
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